I have been a bit more quiet this week. We went on a 3 day trip for a pastor’s conference so we were able to stay in a hotel, swim in a pool, and hear some encouraging messages. I really needed that trip. It was good for my soul.
Yesterday was a great day. I woke up before the sun and worked out. It was tough but I love the energy I feel after a morning workout! My day always ends up much more productive! I spent the rest of the morning getting ready, doing a few things around the house, and simply enjoying my sweet daughters. We laughed so much together! Another good thing for my soul!
After eating lunch with my husband, putting the girls in bed for naps, and doing the dishes, I had another much needed, good-for-the-soul moment that I would love to share with you.
It all started in the kitchen. I was listening to Pandora when a familiar song came on, “Lord, I need you.” I didn’t think much about it as I sang along while wiping the counters. Then, suddenly, it hit me what I was really singing. It made me stop. I could hardly hold it in as I closed my eyes, raised my hands to God, and started singing in the middle of my kitchen. I started crying as I sang those words, “I need you, oh, I need you. Every hour, I need you. My one defense. My righteousness. Oh God, how I need you.”
The only explanation for what happened in that moment is the Holy Spirit. You see, I have been fighting it for some time now. Don’t get me wrong, I am a Christian. I am a follower of Jesus Christ who truly wants a deep, meaningful relationship with my Lord and Savior. But I can always come up with some kind of excuse not to try. The sink is full of dishes. Clothes need to be put away. I need to post on my blog. I just don’t have time for that right now. Yes, I have desired it but not enough to do something about it.
Well, God was sick of waiting around for me. He grabbed my heart right then and there, with the dish rag in my hand, standing in the middle of my kitchen in Port Clinton, Ohio. He stopped me. He held me. He brought tears to my eyes as He reminded me that I need Him more. than. anything.
This time, I didn’t let excuses get in the way. I grabbed my Bible, pen, and notebook and got my butt on the couch to listen to what He had to say and to finally, so long overdo, cry out to Him. I want to share with you what that time did for me. This is what I wrote in my journal.
I am faithless – all. of. the. time.
but yet, you remain faithful – always were. always will be.
I have been suppressing a lot:
- the weight of responsibilities